The door knocked

The door knocked, the dog barked, Christ! It sounded like someone broke the window in the door!

I assumed it was the dude to replace the kitchen counter dropping by to check something, (he is supposed to show up tomorrow). So I look out, it is two, cute, fresh scrubbed, little girls, one tall redhead wearing some plaid school girl uniform, and one short Asian with a round face, with ….name tags….uh oh…….

Turns out they were selling something alrighty… MORMONISM. The ultimate con as it turns out. Here I thought they were trying to screw me out of a magazine subscription (the last one by). But they were trying to jack my eternal soul instead!

They asked if I had ever heard of their little church. I remarked “as it just so turns out I know more about your religion than you do”. They asked how that was possible, I told them because I study, because I find it fascinating that their religion is so new and young, but at the same time so big in number. It is a classic study in modern man and his need for religion in general and his not really wanting to know what goes on behind the curtain, but just wanting to believe whatever he is told, and then follow, follow the flock wherever it leads.

I told them I was very surprised to see girls instead of husky corn fed boys as per usual. It turns out the Oriental girl was Mongolian! What!? Well I see what the gig is for her already..hey pretend to be a Mormon and get a free ticket to America! What a scam, I know some others at work that did the same thing, hey I can’t blame them, it worked didn’t it?

Anyway she told me to have faith, the seed when planted if the fruit is good means the seed must have been good, right? I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the last time I heard the “look at the beautiful flower and see god” routine it was back in the 70’s and a Moonie was pushing it. Strangely, it seemed right for a Moonie, for here it seemed pathetic. I asked if she believed the lost tribes of Israel had migrated to South America? She said “you mean like the book of Mormon”? I said ..ah ..yes. She said no she hadn’t bothered to research that much. I asked if she would research buying a new car? “Oh yes I would” she gushed! I asked Isn’t her immortal soul more important than a car?

Right then as if on cue a cat walked past. Pinky the rambunctious black lab darted through for the attack! They said goodbye and left as I chased Pinky into the neighbors yard as Pinky wanted to discuss with ms. Cat her immortal soul. The girls proceeded to my gay neighbors house…..ah the luck…..