A Modest Proposal: Create Limbaughland

My fellow citizens, now-a-days in general, disappoint me.

American people, (supposedly free and intelligent) voting for George Bush, especially his second term, disappoint me. I realized after the 9-11 fiasco that Americans are much more cowardly, and generally stupid, (and proud of it) as a people, than I ever imagined possible. What other country in the world would despise intellectualism? We have no health insurance and more people in prison than any other country in the world. Right now we are bankrupt, in a ridiculous war in Iraq, and people are worried about an assault weapons ban. It is all truly amazing. The set of priorities many of my fellow citizens have, astounds me.

So we have a fat, drug addict, doctor shopper, who hosts a radio show, literally running one of our major political parties. His hate spewing nonsense, it is religiously followed by millions. He loudly states he hopes our current president’s plan of recovery fails, just because his candidate didn’t get elected. This is all despite the fact the last Republican group’s ideas were clearly failures. So what is the thought behind wanting to continue an agenda that is a colossal failure at any and all costs? To crush our country beyond recognition? To ruin our way of life? Why would that be their goal? I don’t get it.

Now the e-mails are flying out, trying to dredge up memories of Jane Fonda and the Dixie Chicks, and anything else that the Neo-Con nutcases can trump up to be bad things, because let’s face it, even they can’t blame Obama for anything evil yet, except being black, and being educated and intelligent, and having a funny sounding name, all hanging offenses to the Puritans apparently. They can’t admit the Dixie Chicks were right on about being very embarrassed to have Bush as our president. They can’t admit Jane Fonda was very right about us having no business in Viet Nam. Clearly she shouldn’t have cheered the North Viet force on in battle, even though they were just protecting their country against foreign invaders. The point is we were wrong to be there. Remember the “domino theory”? Isn’t it funny no one talks about that anymore? Viet Nam had many opportunities to take over other weaker neighbors, like Cambodia, and didn’t. They just wanted to be left alone to decide their own affairs.
We are also wrong in being in Iraq, we have no business whatsoever being there and what we are doing is morally wrong, any way you look at it. It is also way too expensive unless or lives depend on the outcome, which they don’t.

It is too bad these so-called “red states” cannot secede from our union so they can support themselves with their style of economy. They could teach their idiotic brand of science to their scientists. They could constantly wage religious war over perceived threats to their “way of life”. They could let the rich not pay any taxes and they could keep on the credit card style of living they love. They could keep printing valueless money as long as other countries would take it, which wouldn’t be long. They could fail, and I mean really fail badly, all on their own instead of dragging the rest of us down with them.

So I have an idea, a modest proposal. Let the Neo-Cons have their separate country and let them run it as they will. The so called “blue states” will also have our own country. Places like Eastern Washington could glom on with Idaho and Utah and be red as hell itself. We would call the new blue country Liberalia and the red states country could be Hicksville or the New States of No Education or possibly Limbaughland.

In the new true blue country, we could spend our money on mass transit and infrastructure instead of war in Iraq. We could have national health insurance for all and fund social security fully. We could end the ridiculous “war on drugs” and tax them instead, realizing they kill no more people than booze or cigarettes, and trying to legislate morality has never worked in the history of man. We could make education of the best and brightest a priority. If churches acted as political action committees we could tax them as well. We could make truth and justice for all a motto. We could also subscribe to the saying “we have very few rich men, but even fewer poor”.

The red as hell states could continue the holy war in Iraq. They could blow their money on huge gas hog vehicles and bankrupt themselves trying to be macho and Rambo-like. They could get rid of science and teach creation. They could mix their twisted view of Christianity with the state and make prayer mandatory in schools. They could burn books and outlaw everything. They could execute people who have abortions. They could make a national mania of locking people up and throwing away the keys. They could take away all civil rights and make freedom of speech a thing of the past. Moral police would walk the streets looking for offensive behavior. People could be locked up and tortured for years literally with no charges ever filed, let alone a trial of any kind. George W. Bush could be king for life.

After a period of time, say 25 years or so, we could see which country is better off. In terms of: jobs, wealth, technological growth, education scores, life expectancy, you know all the things that actually matter.

I wonder which country would best win a contest like that?