Today my wife went into the post office and it was closed being November 11, she asked an older man there “this must be a holiday”? He said snottily “yes young lady,… this is VETERAN”S DAY”!
Anyway it got me thinking about holidays and what we celebrate and how, the meaning and importance of our holidays and how things are changing.
January 1- The New Year of course at least in most of the western world. I like it from the standpoint it is non-political and basic, it is not someone’s birthday and it is non-religious. It marks the change of seasons and the passage of time and we can all agree these things are in fact important in the larger swirling cosmos of things.
January 18- MLK Day Not so much for me. I think Martin Luther King was a good man and I think he worked hard for changes for the betterment of civil rights in America, which is cool. But his agenda was limited, he wasn’t for equal rights for all, for instance gays, he was about black equal rights when you get right down to it. I feel he was second or third tier when compared to Abe for instance. I also think if he lived, instead of dying a martyr, his reputation would have been dramatically different, just look at the changed opinion of Ralph Nader as an example. MLK’s reputation has grown so outsized to what he really was that it is the only holiday of the year the Seattle Times takes a full page ad to promote every year-preposterous!
February 2- Ground Hog Day A simple holiday without much importance it has become a cultural thing since the movie “Ground Hog Day”. When asked how they doing people now sometimes say “its ground hog day” to indicate the day is the same as yesterday or “same shit different day”. Just about everybody can relate to this, but it isn’t worth a day off. (see Black Friday).
February 7- Super Bowl Sunday One of the very few activities left almost all Americans participate in. Those that don’t like the games like the TV commercials, there are parties everywhere, and it is the biggest gambling day in the world! It is a time to reflect on the Holidays maybe not with your family but your friends. More people are loaded that Sunday afternoon than maybe even New Year’s Eve. Simply put, Super Bowl Sunday is a monster whether you like it or not. People from other areas that can’t even speak English, strangely, can relate to this blood bath of schlock.
Feb 10?- Chinese New Year I don’t know about you and where you live but Chinese New Year gets bigger and bigger every year around the greater Seattle area. We do live in a diverse culture here, and this holiday is celebrated by many Asian communities and also by people connected to them. This holiday seems to vary year to year according to date because it is tied to the lunar calendar. In addition there seems to be separate New Year’s celebrations by some of the SE Asian groups, on different days and some of these will glom onto the Chinese dates, others will stubbornly stay separate. Even on close interrogation- er..questioning it is hard to really tie down the exact dates here. Also it seems the main group-of-people feels this is a three day holiday but some will celebrate for two weeks. Asian’s in general do not have holidays throughout the year as Americans or Europeans do (the more the better IMHO), so this is a big deal; a combination of Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years and everything else all wrapped up in a huge bash!
My prediction is this: CNY will continue to grow and get bigger and more visible as we blindly Wall Mart ourselves into oblivion.
February 14- Valentine’s Day is a big thing whether you want to admit it or not guys. Yeah it is just a Hallmark Holiday kind of deal to screw you out of time and money but it will cost you if you don’t pay attention. Women view this as a romance thing, if you don’t get involved somehow it is like you are saying you don’t feel the need to woo your woman anymore, you take her for granted.
If you are in one of those “gee whiz I think I should break up with them deals” do it before Thanksgiving for crying out loud. The holidays are a time when many people have parties and mixers, hence this is a good time to be a free agent, yes it can be lonely but a melancholy holiday with the wrong person is worser I thinks.
February 15- President’s Day is one reason for writing this, what a twisted-corpse of a holiday this is! We used to celebrate Washington’s and Lincoln’s actual birthdays on the 12th and the 22nd respectively. Now we glom all presidents together! WHAT! The name of George W. Bush shouldn’t even be in the same paragraph as that of truly great men. Now this holiday is worse than meaningless, it is insulting to those we should actually honor. In times gone past all kinds of stores would give out free cherry pies on George’s B-day. We need to get rid of-or change this horrible idea gone grotesquely wrong.
March 17- St Patrick’s Day If you feel the need to play the Irish card or you are at that stage of alcoholism where you need an excuse to drink excessively. Green beer-Nyquil what’s the difference?
April 2- Good Friday Uhh…what?
April 4- Easter Sunday Well there is Easter Candy, although the candy isn’t as good a deal as Halloween’s. This is now mainly just a Christian Holiday based on when Christ supposedly arose from the grave. Actually it was the spring equinox festival the Christians were trying to supplant. This holiday, more even than Christmas (Saturnalia), really has become the most successful “taking over” of a secular holiday by the church. Interestingly, I have discovered the whole thought about the dead’s spirit rising three days the body’s death is a very universal idea and is common amongst Asian cultures.
April 15- Tax Day similar to Valentine’s Day actually, in that if you forget it, you will pay stiff penalties. If you forget Valentine’s Day maybe no-get-laid, if you forget Tax day maybe get laid by Uncle Sam against your will and big whisker burn on your back!!
April 22- Earth Day something for grade-schoolers to draw pictures about. You will have to pry my carbon footprint off my cold dead foot.
May 1- May Day Originally a pagan religious holiday it was often celebrated with a may pole by Germanic Paganism. A central pole had ribbons emanating from the top which people would hold and circle, symbolizing the seasons and the circle of life. This holiday is also the traditional day to celebrate many workers rights, Labor Day and International Workers Rights day. Interestingly May Day is also the international distress call which supposedly means in French “you come help me”, HA!
May 5- Cinco de Mayo This was the day of a big turning point battle in Mexico, it is not the Mexican Independence Day, although many think it should be. Many also think it should be an American holiday and as the Hispanic population continues to grow and is now by far the largest subset in America, who knows? It is the Mexican equivalent of St Patrick’s Day and involves mucho partying. It also seems to be a good time to party as it is the kick off of good hot weather eh?
May 9- Mother’s Day Ah the chance to go out and stand in line for a truly mediocre meal! She gave birth to you for crying out loud, do SOMETHING for her! Anna Jarvis who instituted this holiday in Grafton, West Virginia was so put off by the Hallmark commercialism of it she opposed it at the end of her life.
May 15- Armed Forces Day ah no.
May 30- Memorial Day it has become the three day holiday to go camping and fishing and basically it kicks off summer doesn’t it? Well that is cool but almost no-one actually goes out and lays flowers and wreaths on the dead anymore. But here is the deal schlemiel—Memorial Day used to be known as “Decoration Day” it was commemorated to honor UNION veterans of the civil war and is celebrated at the time of the re-unification of the United States. Hey that’s great! But why do we also need a Veteran’s Day, an Armed Services Day and a Flag Day on top of this day, and the Fourth of July? Patriotism has gone way the hell overboard to the point where we honor soldiers for “protecting our freedom” when all they did was take over a small helpless country thousands of miles away that never attacked us (Iraq), and never posed any threat whatsoever, and we all know that don’t we? If you pretended you didn’t understand that before it is time to let it go flag-waver and fess up.
June 14- Flag Day Ah no.
June- 20 Father’s Day Well here is another day to show appreciation for dear old dad and all he has done for you, even if it is just the bare minimum required by law.
July 4- Independence Day Well, no one calls it Independence Day and maybe that is part of the problem it is another three dayer between Memorial Day and Labor Day for fishing trips. It seems every year there are fewer and fewer shows put on. There is a lot of noise in the neighborhood and people go buy tranquilizers for their dogs.
July 25- Parent’s Day No.
September 6- Labor Day- The end of summer for the kids and the last big car trip across the mountains or whatever it is you do. The holiday has no actual meaning other than a day off and the time of year is good to break things up. So I propose we ditch/change the import. We can still have the day just not take it off work; of course it will fade away because of that but no big loss.
September 11- 9-11 (Patriot Day), I think this should be the new holiday to replace Labor Day. http://425traveler.blogspot.com/2009/09/celebrate-9-11.html The name Patriot Day I don’t like because the word Patriot has been stolen, abused and raped by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Teabaggers and the Glenn Beck no nothings, it no longer has any real meaning. I would call it something like “Live Brave and be Free Day”. I don’t think the day should be about mourning the loss of a few people, and I don’t think it should be about remembering tragedy for a revenge type feeling like Pearl Harbor Day. I think it should signify that no terrorist act will ever make us afraid enough for us to abandon our way of life and cower in fear. The Patriot Act is just that; a crazy overreaction due to piss-pants fear. Do you see how the word Patriot has been stolen?
9-11 should be about doing the things we have put off due to fear; it should be about laughing in the face of fear. The “No Fear” bumper stickers could have meaning for the masses. Dr Phil and Oprah could have shows about rejecting fear and moving forward in our lives in a positive way. Instead of passively honoring someone else who did something long ago how about a holiday to encourage people to do something positive NOW…..
September 16- Stepfamily Day yur kiddin’ right?
September 17- Citizenship Day I was going to say we could check on our neighbor’s legal citizenship on this day but the Patriots and the Cinco de Mayo people would not see the humor.
October 11- Columbus Day Apparently the US Post Office is the only US institution to still honor this day. Chris Columbus is riding the reverse trajectory of MLK.
October 31- Halloween Hey how about Halloween huh? A truly pagan, secular holiday still survives even after years and years of the Christian Church trying it’s damndest to kill it. The costumes and parties are great although the door-to-door candy thing has been all but wiped out by the fear mongers. The pumpkin mottoes and the time of year make this the beginning of the dark season.
The funniest story I ever heard in regards to Halloween was from a very small Laotian Hill tribe man who was complaining to me about how many holidays we have in America. He said it was right after he got to the states, late at night and dark, there was a knock at the door; he opened the door and……people with masks screamed at him, he fell to the floor in fright, almost having a heart attack. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him what he had done wrong? Who was out to get him? He tried to compose himself and just when he had calmed down…another knock at the door!
November 2- Election Day They had kept running this levy (every six months) to raise taxes to build a 3 million dollar high school football field. The one time I forgot to vote it passed by six votes, enough said.
November 11- Veteran’s Day Like I said how many military holidays do we need? And how many times was America’s freedom really, actually at stake? How many of these wars weren’t just for corporate profits?
November 26- Thanksgiving What many people think of as the true start to the holiday season, what is not to like about thanksgiving? If it involves good food, getting family and friends together, I am for it. Thanksgiving is rarely about spending a lot of money and is not known for hellacious drinking compared to other events. It really places an emphasis more than any other holiday for the whole family to sit down together at one table and be thankful. Good show I say.
November 27- Black Friday A truly funny, although very apropos, name for a madhouse crush of consumerist carnage. People actually camp out at mid-night, to save a few bucks, on the latest plastic-electronic-made-in-china junk they think their kids cannot live without. It really demonstrates everything wrong with America, our values and the empty values of consumerism, all in one bleak terrible day. People have literally been trampled to death in Wall Mart on Black Friday---The Horror! Of dying in a Wall Mart I mean….. http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2008/11/28/2008-11-28_worker_dies_at_long_island_walmart_after.html
December 7- Pearl Harbor Day Like I said how many military holidays do we need for crying out loud? It makes you think we are just a military-industrial complex run machine.
December 12-19 Chanukah/Hanukkah I know in some places this holiday resonates but it seems to me as a whole Hispanic and Asian holidays are blowing this out of the water, for people not directly involved in this religious rite that is.
December 25 Christmas Everyone likes presents don’t they? And drinking and eating to excess and a day off? The kids like lights and putting up the tree and well.. Christmas is really for kids anyway I think, for the big people it is a lot of work and money out. This was of course a popular pagan holiday and it was in fact SO popular the church could not stomp it out and extinguish the JOY people felt. so one day SHABAM! They decide in a great coincidence BABY JESUS just happened to be born then!
The fact that Baby Jesus just happened to be born on a very old and very popular pagan holiday makes everyone happy really, the kids YEAH! The retailers YEAH! The born agains YEAH, and of course regular working folk like you and me …yahweh…I mean yeah!
By the way, I have determined through a very close sampling of data that the fancy Christmas Eve is now the most dangerous day of the year to be out driving. Amateur drunks are out in great number, the weather is bad, roads are clogged with people who are PISSED TO THE BREAKING POINT (these people are going to have a perfect Christmas if it kills them), and they are drunk and have to drive to the hated..INSERT here: mother-in-law, X-wife’s house, other hated relative, brother who always did better in school etc…so watch out if you are forced to drive somewhere on this day.
December 31- New Year’s Eve Regular New Year’s Eve is a sad thing really in comparison to the Chinese New Year extravaganza. Many people used to stay up till mid-night and get falling down drunk but the whole DUI thing is paramount now. It is a time when people reflect about the past year and try and make resolutions for the New Year in ways in which they want to better their lives.
So in celebrating the holidays remember:
1. Your “family” can be anyone you choose to be your family.
2. Money and working overtime won’t count for shit while lying on your death bed.
3. People and relationships are all that matter in the end.
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