What the Hell does that Woman want for Christmas?

What the hell does that woman want for Christmas?

Are men and woman different in what they like to get for Christmas, or presents in general? Sure they are, and you know they are, but sometimes slip up in the thinking anyway. Have you ever heard a woman say this, "I don't want anything that plugs in"? Think about that while I make an all encompassing statement;" If you buy her something to wear, that she really wants, you will rarely go wrong".

Think about this in the most round terms. Women wear perfume and virtually all woman want a exotic scent they think as their own. Woman like jewelry. If you have the means, every woman should have diamond earrings and a pearl necklace as classic pieces of jewelry, these can vary in price wildly of course. Women like clothes and if you can latch onto a jacket, dress or shoes she really likes, she will be most happy and also appreciate the effort you have taken to notice what she likes and admires in dressing style. This includes purses of course and if she is a business woman that travels, a nice briefcase or laptop case is part of the package. Cell phones are considered a necessity by most women and a nice I-phone or blackberry could be very handy and help her stay organized and save time.

In broader terms when a woman gets in her car she wears it, I am not suggesting you buy her a new car for Christmas, but it follows with this whole "wearing" concept. In the same way a day at a spa for pampering is something she is seen in, it is something she puts on, a facial etc. A new kitchen, or just new paint, is part of her ensemble. Men rarely care all that much the color of the kitchen wall. You metro-sexual, Architectural Digest magazine readers, I am not speaking to you.
Contrast this with most standard issue, heterosexual men, they want toys.

Things that plug in are fine. If you give a man who woodworks a nice table saw he doesn't think of it as a tool to work with, he sees it as a toy to play with. If you buy him a nice pistol, he doesn't think "oh now I can protect my family", he thinks "ah this is going to make noise, make the other boys jealous, feel nice in my hands, and be fun to play with". A car can be seen as a status symbol by both men and women but guys oftentimes will want to "thrash" a 4x4, dirt bike, maybe even a pontoon boat through rapids, and make no mistake they are playing with their big toys out in the world's sandbox. If you are looking cheap, many men like a video game that caters to their interests, if they like racing maybe a racing game, if they like sitting around and drinking beer, maybe a Wii so they will move occasionally, their skin won't graft with the recliner vinyl.

Men rarely want clothes for gifts, clothes are something required by law to wear in public, you cannot play with clothes.

If you give someone money it says "I don't know you that well, and I don't want to work very hard at this whole gift thingy". If you give them a gym membership it says "god I wish you would clean up your fat-ass act'! If you give them a vacuum cleaner it says "yes the house is dirty and this kills two birds with one stone..right"? If you get them a book or CD it says " here this was cheap, easy to buy, easy to wrap and it technically fulfills the minimum gift requirement". if you buy someone booze it means "hey this is the minimum gift and also I can share it, and I need a shot right now". If you get someone some type of subscription it means "I want to piss you off for the next YEAR"! If you send them a fruit cake or one of those boxes full of sausage, cheese and crackers it means "secretly I hate you and want to poison you". If you give a nephew or grandchild a drum set or puppy it means "HA! you thought my revenge would never arrive and now here it is"!
Homemade gifts? Ahh..it depends of course but the hook is the gift receiver feels obligated to keep it. A book or ugly sweater (unless you knitted it),they can ditch and say they lost it. If you paint them a picture that is 20"x30" and they really hate it but know you put a lot of work into it? Ahh...tough, a Jerry Seinfeld episode of a mess.

Christmas is basically for kids IMHO, but I told my wife today she was" the equivalent of a hard-headed five year old girl". She said "and you are like a 13 year old boy". I said "so I am older than you", she said "yes but boys are more immature so divide by two and there you are". There we are indeed.